Unhappy Holidays!

We are two weeks into the summer holidays, for me it is my third week as Delilah had to isolate on the last week of school. I was guttered, seven weeks to entertain three kids was long enough, the last week was supposed to be mine… the calm before the storm.

Now we are onto the third week and I’m skint, my cupboards are constantly being refilled to be emptied within a day or two and the older kids are always bored.

Delilah is always borderline overstimulated or under stimulated, their is no happy medium… oh no… their is either sleepy off a busy day that leads to a meltdown or a boring day when she doesn’t know where she wants to go, to which her little indecisive brain starts to shift into meltdown mode. There is no win. We have had more meltdowns in the last couple of weeks compared to that of the last few months.

I know I’m not alone in this though, I know that other parents are also in my shoes and struggling. It happens every single year too. This year feels different though.

Most years Delilah doesn’t like to go out much, we do go on days out but they are mainly catered for our older children and their choices. Days out as a full family used to be pretty few and far between. We always tried though. This year though, even Delilah is sick of being stuck in the house and wants to go out and do ‘fun stuff’. She wants to go to farms, sight see and try new things. If only, If only everything was accessible. Could you imagine that? A world where every child was taken into consideration? When there are events in place for SEND kids and their families… so they could try new experiences without the major cost? When the word accessible didn’t scare people? When everywhere would be adapted for height, chairs and care. Would be amazing wouldn’t it? For years I have watched adverts on tv for holiday destinations, knowing we could never do that. Not because of money, because like everyone else, we would save. Not because of the pictures of the families laughing, carrying on and having fun. Not because their kids can walk… simply because if I was to do it, it would be such a carry on. As a SEND parent watching tv, I have seen my role portrayed loads of times. How it’s so difficult, how they can’t cope, how they have struggled and needed support…

Yet no one else seems to have seen them? If you know our lives are difficult why make everything else around us harder? Want benefits? Fill out this 60 page form to tell us why you think you shouldn’t need to work. Need support in funding towards your child’s disability? Ok, fill out this DLA form and rake up all those overwhelming emotions so we can still turn you down, then eventually award you, whilst you're still dealing with the trauma of filling it out. Want to go on holiday? Well make sure you can afford all the extras and get ready to jump through hoops. Want to do something local? Well, make sure your child can conform to our services as we can’t be arsed to adapt it ever so slightly.

It is shear madness, throughout the pandemic there was a law that stated you must isolate, and you had to wear a mask for others safety. Yet, no one has yet made it mandatory that every play centre or children activity be inclusive… Isolating a whole category of kids, their siblings and their families. Causing more issues to their mental health… I know this, because the last two and a bit weeks has really pushed mine to the very edge. I have even cried and i’ve not done that for a little while… It just hurts to know my child isn’t thought of… it sucks.

Good news though! I released my first book this week and busy working on my second. It has been soo well received… it hasn’t actual sunk in that i’ve actually done it yet though… It is my start to helping others, specifically those just joining us in the SEND world… My hopes are to take the royalties and use it to batch buy the books and to hand them out in receptions of all my daughters services around my city and then keep going til it becomes an option to just give it out for free entirely, everywhere. If you’d like to download the free sample, full book or buy the paperback ill add the link below. Thank you for continuing to read my ramblings… Hugs,

Tracey x

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