The Baldy Head Guy...

A name (amongst others) I get called on a daily basis from Delilah no matter who is there or where we are Delilah refers to me as the baldy head guy, but obviously mam is always mam. It is not easy feeling i don’t have that special bond with my daughter but i know its not her, she is autistic, she loves mum and thats just how it is in her head, its almost as instilled in her mind as her red crisps and her Ipad time. I know that in the future she will be become more and more attached to Tracey, she’s gonna be a young woman after all and there will be a point that i have to give her more privacy as I wont be able to be as hands on with her toileting, baths and personal care etc. Im always seen as the bad guy in almost all situations, even when i’m not there and i don’t see this changing in the future either. Don’t get me wrong i know she loves me with all her heart and she does tell me the odd time now and then, but i’m seen more as her servant than her parent, the taxi as i’m sometimes known because i carry her from room to room when she’s just not feeling like using her ceiling hoists.

One experience we go through almost everyday that i feel cements my place in the pecking order of Delilahs mind is the school run, which many of you will know is hard enough with any child that apparently doesn’t like school without the added difficulties and needs that Delilah has. Anyway, most mornings go quite smoothly, me and especially Tracey have school mornings down to a tea and they are usually executed with military precision. Wake up time 7am, breakfast, make her packed lunch and she has Ipad time till 8am. Then we get her changed, hoist or carry her into her chair and then the dreaded hair brush comes out which means only one thing!?! Everything's about to kick off. So we do our usual routine i put max on her knee as a distraction and keep hold off her hands as if i’m helping her through this traumatic experience but in reality i’m politely stopping her from ripping the brush out of Tracey’s hand or hitting me or the dog. Whilst tracey is brushing her hair and she is screaming like she is being murdered, she’s not aiming her anger at her mam, nope she’s screaming in my face and blaming me for tracey brushing her hair with no valid follow up of course. I do the good parent thing and try my best to tell her its not my fault and tell her to calm down, “mam's nearly done" i say. "You can brush my hair afterwards" to which i get the standard reply of "you haven't got any hair daddy, your just bald!" To which we have a little laugh too before normal service is resumed. This happens every morning i’m here for school run, same routine, same shouting match. But the thing is when i’m at work Delilah is fussy, however she doesn’t shout or cry or take the brush out of Tracey’s hand or scream or kick off and i’m told morning go much smoother when i’m not there…

The baldy headed guy.

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